Ms. Nikki Says...The 42% Part 2 and 3

I’m soooo sorry for the delay folks, but Ms. Nikki has been a little busy. BUT FEAR NOT! I’m back and in effect so here we go. Also I’m going to combine parts 2 and 3 because I’m behind and also because they go hand in hand…Hope you enjoy!

The 42% Part 2: Adjusting the image off your I.B.M. (Ideal Black Man)

In the ABC special they used a successful African American prosecuting attorney named Nicole Marshawn. She is 31 years old and has never been married. The first time I watched this special she instantly reminded me of Sanai Lathan’s character in the movie “Something New.” In the movie Sanai’s character’s name was Kenya and she was a successful accountant who wanted more than anything to find her I.B.M. She had the attributes she wanted in her I.B.M. listed and at the top of her list were the he was just as educated and just as wealthy as she was. All of her friends were just as successful and they all wanted the same things Kenya did.

Ms. Nikki Says…

I think once a woman especially a black woman reaches a certain level of success the chances of you meeting a black man on your level are slim to none. I hate to burst your bubble ladies, but the truth hurts sometimes! Men with that level of success tend to have huge egos and want a woman who will tend to them and their needs 24/7 and if you are like Nicole and you have a demanding job that pretty much leaves little to no time for a man of your caliber. So here is the solution. Adjust your outlook on a good man. I’m not saying compromise your standards. I’m telling you to adjust them. Because at the end of the day aside from physical features you should just want a man who treats you like platinum! A man that works at the post office can treat you just as well if not better than a man with 50 million degrees and lots of money. Even in the movie Kenya’s friend was a judge and she ended up engaged to a cook…not a chef but a cook! He couldn’t have made more than $40,000 a year, but he made her happy. Be realistic about your aspirations and standards when it comes to looking for a man. Because dreams don’t keep you warm at night, but a good man will!

The 42% Part 3…Letting go of Limitations

Ok so I previously discussed adjusting your view of your I.B.M., But what is that doesn’t work? What if you just can find a black man that treats you the way you think you ought to be treated??

Ms. Nikki Says….

Sometimes you have got to let go of the dream of your I.B.M and just not discriminate. What do I mean you ask? I mean don’t just think because you’re black you have to be with a black man. That is far from the truth. This is the 21st century and interracial marriage is very real! Despite what you might believe white men CAN jump and can be just as endowed as a black man!

Alright thats all folk's....tune in next week for a BRAND NEW topic! I know you're going to love it!! Smooches

~Ms. Nikki~

Ms. Nikki Says...The 42% Part 1...Being the majority

For the last 2 days my facebook as been in an uproar over a special ABC news did on why 42% of black women have never been married. (If you havent seen the video it is posted below) Because I have such a huge opinion on the matter im going to make this a 4 weeks series. So here is part one.

Ms Nikki Says.... Its tough when your the majority

42% of black women have never been married. Sad I know, but unfortunately true. According to the study ABC news did there are more black women then black men approximately 1.8 million more. Which means even if every black man married a black women that would still leave 1 out of every 12 black women unmarried. Then you have to take into account the amout of eligible black men that are on the market now-a-days. When you subtract the ones without a job, without a highschool diploma, and the ones in jail that leaves pretty slim pickings in the eligible black men department. In atlanta alone there are 17 women to every 1 man. Thats right I said 17 women! and you wonder why so many black women are single. In situations like this being the majority sucks! When there are so many women to go around I can't really blame men for not wanting to settle down. I'm not saying it's right, but think about it like this if you could have 17 men all to yourself why wouldnt you want to have them all. If one was acting cazy you could go to the next one because you would have one to spare.

Until next time folks...Smooches!

~Ms. Nikki~

Ms. Nikki Says...ALL MY SINGLE LADIES!!!

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she was telling me about a break-up she is currently going through. Without putting all her business on front street she was basically just saying over and over how she couldnt believe he left her after she gave him her everything and how she didnt understand why he couldnt just get his priorities together while being in a relationship instead of wanting to be single...

Ms Nikki Says...

I think one of the mistakes people make in relationships is giving someone your everything. Its ok to give alot, but your everything is a little too much. Its like setting yourself up for failure because if the relationship ends then you're left with nothing and the hardest place to start over from is zero. Only god deserves your everything. Even if you think it could last forever there is a HUGE possibility that it wont. Its really not worth the risk. Im not saying that you cant love wholeheartedly, just remember to save a little of that love for yourself.

I also think that sometimes break-ups are needed in a relationship. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and re-evaluate some things to make sure you are making the right decisions and you're on the right path. Oftentimes you need to be single to do so because your better half can sometimes hinder your growth unintentionally.

With all that being said, if you're ever in this particualr situation dont think your world is ending. Take this time and work on yourself...Besides, thats what your single time is for!

That's all for now folks! Im going to be giving advice on a broad range of topics so make sure you tune in next time for Ms. Nikki Says.... Smooches!

~Ms. Nikki~